MARCH MADDENING. University Diaries proposes an academic tournament.

It's time for everyone at universities -- professors, administrators, students -- to ask: "What am I doing to entertain the nation? Am I earning the tax dollars that go to support my institution?"

I can't speak for administrators and students, but an obvious starting point for professors would be a national road show or whistle-stop tour elaborating on the "Nutty Professor/Irwin Corey/Dr. Frankenstein" persona, with the cast -- drawn from a wide array of American universities -- playing hilarious variations on bumbling psychotics.

And one of her correspondents discovers an inequity in the basketball tournament.

Cornell's run to the Sweet 16 as a No. 12 seed may be tarnished after reports surfaced today that all 13 players on the roster have been given elite educations that all but guarantee high-paying jobs after they leave the school.

"It's important to remember that right now these are only allegations -- allegations that we are looking into," said NCAA president James Isch. "But, obviously, if true, this would be very disappointing. The NCAA has certain expectations and standards. It's not fair for players at one school to be given expensive educations while athletes at other member schools receive basic, remedial instruction that is worth essentially nothing."

It gets better. Go. Enjoy.

For my part, I want to know who gave the chart that shows fouls, times-out remaining, and posession arrow the idiotic name of game reset? Wouldn't the point of resetting the game be to restore all the times-out, pardon all the fouls, and have a new center jump?

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