19.11.10

LARGE IRISH COFFEE, THREE SHOTS OF BUSHMILLS. Phi Beta Cons have posted several observations of the possible ban of alcoholic energy drinks such as Four Loko, an Illinois export perhaps more toxic than Governor Blagojevich, Our President, or "Go Cubs Go". Herewith a product review.
However, to mourn the end of the drink when the ban was announced, I stopped by a neighborhood convenience store and bought one of every flavor they had (just three, and no, I didn’t drink them all at once). That night, with a heavy heart, I drank a can of the lemon flavor and played Call of Duty Classic. That flavor is disgusting, and the smell makes it even worse — it sort of wafts around the room when you open the can, a pungent mix of lemon, energy drink, and alcohol.
Reason's Jacob Sullum is also underwhelmed.
At a poker game last night, I cracked open a couple of Four Loko cans and distributed samples. We all agreed it was one of the vilest drinks we had ever consumed. It was not as syrupy as I expected and in fact had a bitter edge that is characteristic of energy drinks containing caffeine and taurine. The one in the purple can tasted like a grape soda with crushed aspirin mixed into it. Even a test subject who has a fondness for Mike's Hard Lemonade could not abide it (or the cranberry-lemonade variety, which had the same unpleasant aftertaste). In terms of psychoactive effects, it was indistinguishable from wine; I did not notice any extra kick from the caffeine. (One can has about as much caffeine as a cup of coffee.) I suspect that the reformulated version of Four Loko, which will not have caffeine, guarana, or taurine, will taste better and will therefore be, if anything, more appealing both to underage drinkers and to the "young adults" that the FDA is so worried about.
Thus, ideas of a product ban will not go away.

Fear not, though. Angus at Kids Prefer Cheese proffers DIY Four Loko.

Or you could simply ask your bartender to make up the order given in the title.

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