WOKE BEYOND PARODY.

It's generally Cold Spring Shops practice not to pick on student journalists, but we make an exception for Chico State student newspaper columnist Rachael Bayuk's "White privilege is real. Stop acting like it’s not."

Arguably, she, and her newspaper, are getting lit up in the comments, probably after the insurrectionist websites circulated her story.  And perhaps she's simply writing talking points that she acquired at Morale Conditioning 099 or however Student Affairs brainwashes indoctrinates inculcates doubleplusgoodthink in new students.

If you want to say something like: “I don’t know why I can’t have those hair braids, I like them,” stop. Think about how privileged this sounds. Why should you get to wear a style and be complimented on it, while a black woman who does it can be labeled as “ghetto” or see her job prospects damaged just from wearing the braids that are part of her culture?

It's likely there's more information content than those braids at work, and cultural appropriation is an empty concept anyway. Don't read me, read her.

We don’t get to pick and choose what’s okay and what isn’t. That’s what colonialism has been doing for centuries－picking and choosing all the parts white, dominant culture likes and discarding the rest. Well, we should stick to box tea and lederhosen and stop injecting ourselves into places we don’t belong.

Wait, what, box tea and lederhosen???

If you're wearing lederhosen, you'd better know how to Schuhplattler, or perform Ein Prosit, or Gloria.

It's unlikely that you're sipping box tea.

You're going to need a Doppelbock before you read her next paragraph.  Set it down, though, and swallow first.

Our society has adopted celebrations from Mexican culture only to gentrify them. We mash them up beyond recognition until all they become are excuses to drink and wear “funny” (racist) costumes. There is not a single thing funny about racism. The systematic oppression and crude depictions of people of color is unacceptable.

Boy, she sounds like a lot of fun on St. Patrick's day. (Oops, better run to Confession Constructive Self-Criticism and do my Hail Maos before the wokescolds try to pillory me.)

I wonder if Californians have gentrified Oktoberfest, and if they even observe Oktoberfest, if the local Bavaria soccer collective does fund raisers.

I repeat, because repeat I must, "give these kids an America to buy into, and an America that buys into these kids, and we'll be OK."

Those poor True Believers at Chico State, not so much.

Being an ally is being willing to fight along side them for the fair treatment they have not been afforded. Being an ally is being willing to be shot with pepper balls at rallies. Being an ally is using this privilege to make a change and not demanding recognition for it.

Let’s stop saying things aren’t fair, or they are racist when we aren’t invited to something. Our voices have rung through these mountains for far too long. It’s time we hold the megaphone up for the people who need to be heard.

Be careful what you ask for.

That is all.