SAYING NO AND UPHOLDING STANDARDS.

Some years ago, I came across an image proposing immigration reform.

It was in the fever swamps of the so-called manosphere, the context and substance of the argument that accompanied it will be left to the reader's imagination.

The caption, though, might be what the bouncers at Northern Illinois University fraternities are implementing at their parties, as this complaint by Northern Star columist Habiba Kamel alleges.  "Hook-up culture is normalized and some Greek organizations are facing accusations of denying entry to 'unattractive' partygoers."  That's a Complex Proposition, there can be a campus rabbit culture without the In Places conducting themselves like the late, lamented Studio 54.

Greek organizations have not always had a positive reputation. While some find the experience fulfilling, others see the concept as picky, cliquey and a waste of time.

As someone who is associated with Greek life, it saddens me to see so many girls who refrain from joining due to lack of self-esteem or fear of judgement. What doesn’t help this case is when girls feel marginalized by the fraternal organizations on campus.

Being a girl in modern-day society is hard enough. It is a never-ending cycle of wanting to look a certain way, feel a certain way and be perceived a certain way.

It is especially hard when a major part of college life is relationships and hook-up culture. Hook-up Culture refers to having sexual relations with someone without the emotional aspect. Of all college students, 60-80 % have hooked up with at least one person during their college experience. With this culture being so normalized, not engaging it can lead to judgement and self-esteem issues.

Unfortunately, only around 15% of students enjoy hook-up culture, most of them being males in fraternities.

As a girl in a sorority, I am one who will always speak my truth and say that no one should ever feel pressured to have to do something they do not want to do. Whether that be sexual relations, drinking, etc. no one should feel less of themselves because they do not want to do something that does not align with their beliefs.

Student writing is not necessarily orderly, is it?  Is it really the case that "being a girl" is "wanting to look a certain way?"  I suspect the complaint she raises is one about the aesthetics, or lack thereof, on Greek Row.

Thursday nights are one of the most active nights for NIU students as many attend the fraternities to hang out and make memories with their friends. It should be a place for all students to enjoy themselves and take their mind off of school. However, there have been recent accusations that some fraternities are denying entry to girls due to their looks or weight.

“As I was walking toward the frats, I heard a bunch of girls yelling at one of the guys at the door,” said Grace Flinchum, a first-year pre-nursing major. “She started telling me not to go in because the guys there were yelling at her and her friends and were fat-shaming them.”

I find this to be beyond disgusting and unacceptable. The idea that fraternities would even consider kicking out specific people due to their appearance is disgusting and further shows the toxicity that can come with hook-up culture. It’s objectifying, making it clear these accused individuals only want to talk to girls with the intent of hooking up with them.

Despite the complaint about "fat-shaming," this is about the young ladies who want the affirmation of the Greek letter organization without the "Here's where the cool kids hang out" carried over from middle school.  It's unlikely that the "body positive" land whales let alone the "my truth is transgressive" types calling attention to their bad haircuts with fluorescent dye streaks and rocking more snout rings than a 4-H livestock show are attending Thursday parties on Greek Row in the first place.  It's well understood among the frats that when your brother offers to set you up with somebody and she "has a nice personality," expect to meet somebody in the three to seven range.  Moreover, I'm not sure whether the columnist's complaint is about the historically white Greek-letter organizations that are perpetually under pressure from Student Affairs to diversify, or about historically ethnic (yes, dear reader, there is a separate but equal strain to fraternity life) fraternities that might also seek to offer their members aesthetically pleasing parties.

The columnist has not thought that through.

How can girls be expected to feel good about themselves if they can’t even enjoy themselves on a night out without feeling judgement? Not to mention, these occurrences put an even worse look on Greek organizations in general.

Some individuals already see sororities and fraternities as a “popularity club.” When fraternities make it clear their intentions lie only with “attractive” women, it further insinuates that Greek organizations are only nice to those who fit a certain “criteria.” This is far from the truth, and does not represent Greek organizations as a whole.

No girl, or anyone for that matter, should ever feel less of themselves or denied entry to a place because of how they look. Being in Greek Life doesn’t require a certain “criteria” or “look.” It should only require someone that is a decent human with good morals.

No one should ever feel entitled enough to speak on a girl’s image in the manner that these fraternity members allegedly were. The fraternities that were accused of this are in dire need of a wake-up call.

Thinking you have the right to speak to anyone’s appearance, deeming them less valuable or less deserving of a good night out because you won’t sleep with them, automatically ruins your image, and the image of fraternities and sororities as a whole.

I can't wait for the postmodernists in Student Affairs to go after that "decent human with good morals."  Yes, those are qualities that confer evolutionary advantage.  The Greek-letter organizations anything other than a "popularity club?"  Please.

But then came another Northern Star columnist, Adrian Maurer, offering "Calling women ‘females’ is dehumanizing."  If that means the end of those ridiculous "the future is female" messages, good.  But the columnist might also have triggered the Guardians of Thought in Student Affairs.

It’s time to stop saying “females” when talking about women. It’s weird and honestly getting old.

The word “female” is primarily an adjective, a descriptive word. It’s not a noun. It’s grammatically incorrect in a way that’s easily misunderstood. At least people know what you mean when you use “they’re” instead of “their.”

After all, not all females are women. A female what? A female donkey that rejected you at a bar? A female cat that told you you’re too short? And it’s not any better to say “female humans.” That just makes you seem like a robot, an extraterrestrial or a serial killer. Are we science experiments or people?

Luckily, we English-speakers have a non-creepy way to describe female humans in just one word. Singularly, it’s “woman.” If you can get more than one to talk to you, it’s “women.”

One would wish so, but apparently, answering "what is a woman?" with "an adult human female" is itself a signal of normality, and Democrat politicians and their hangers-on go through all manner of gyrations to dodge offering that answer.  It might be that what is bothering the columnist, though, is the manosphere types turning "female" into a dig, which is the most effective way to mock inclusive euphemism.

It’s not only dehumanizing, but the people who say it are often part of the “manosphere,” a corner of the internet that promotes toxic masculinity, misogyny and anti-feminism.

All words have a purpose. People who promote the rhetoric used in the manosphere choose this word for a specific reason. They know it’s dehumanizing. With the rise in use of the term, it’s easier for young people, specifically men and boys, to fall into the same ideals as those who promote misogyny.

This term is on the rise. Google Trends shows while the word “females” has always been searched regularly, it started to rise more in popularity at the end of 2021.

Which the columnist uses to suggest that somebody who uses the term "female" and not referring to electrical connectors might be a pickup artist interested only in the proverbial notches in the bed post, and part of a woman being protective of her chastity might wisely avoid such chaps.  Part of being adult is being protective of who you favor with your companionship, which is fine irrespective of the Culture Wars baggage.