GETTING THE PROPER FOUNDATION. Yes, the trivium and quadrivium matter, but I've long maintained there's more.

I've gone on and on and on about the common schools abdicating their onetime mission of inculcating the habits of effective people, and I continue to maintain that special programs for people who have bad life-management skills that are not crash courses in developing proper life management skills will waste resources.

In Milwaukee, there's something more than a crash course in progress.

On the way to their new elective class, the seventh- and eighth-graders walked under the fluorescent cafeteria lights and past bagged lunches on tables, awaiting the first lunch shift.

What they saw on the other side of the wall at Concordia University School made many whisper and cast surprised looks at their friends: candles amid a 15-piece table setting, white tablecloth, silver platters and fine china, soup bowls and a centerpiece.

Presentation is everything in Camille Monk's etiquette class. The 29-year-old has started a business bringing classic social training to urban schools, in the hopes that teaching tolerance and respect will help the students successfully navigate future social situations. The payoff for students who complete the class: a formal five-course lunch or dinner at Bacchus restaurant downtown.

But at a time when budget cuts have eliminated long-established specials such as gym, art and music in many school buildings, financial support for manners training is a struggle, even though experts say soft skills - from properly eating at a dinner table to managing a Facebook page - are critical for today's students.

"A lot of the children I'm working with are around a lot of negative energy and negative vibes all the time," said Monk, who leads an elective course at Concordia University School and Young Leaders Academy, a charter school. "The bottom line is respecting others and being tolerant. But it's hard to retrain someone when they're planted in a negative environment."

In their first class at Concordia, 8242 N. Granville Road, the children practiced standing up and introducing each other, and adults, to their peers in front of the room. They practiced shaking hands and correctly scooping soup away from the front of the bowl. They practiced tearing off chunks of bread and buttering each one, rather than buttering the entire loaf at once.

They were attentive, thoughtful and respectful, if a little clumsy with the utensils. After class, many could be overheard in the cafeteria, excitedly sharing what they'd learned with other peers or teachers.

Adrianne Hooker, who started the Great Lakes School of Etiquette and also has worked in Milwaukee's urban schools, said manners are a lost art in many communities. Children don't always act rude because they are willfully disobeying social norms. Often, she said, nobody has ever told them that what they're doing is inconsiderate.

"The biggest problem in schools is that people don't necessarily see the value in putting lots of time and training into children's social development," she said. "Your first teachings begin at home. But we have a different generation of parents, many of them are children themselves . . .  and many have learned to accept a lesser way of living. They've become complacent about not having to put their best foot forward."

That complacency perpetuates poverty. Perhaps it's the beginning of the end of social-constructivist attitudes toward traditions.