ARE THE BROADCAST RIGHTS THAT VALUABLE?

Apparently some players of the game formerly known as Quidditch think so.

Two of the sport's governing bodies, U.S. Quidditch and Major League Quidditch, announced last year that they planned to change the name, citing two reasons.

First, they said the name change was part of an effort to “distance themselves from the works of J.K. Rowling, who has increasingly come under scrutiny for her anti-trans positions in recent years.”

Second, they said the name “quidditch” is trademarked by Warner Bros., and, as a result, the sport’s broadcast and sponsorship opportunities have been limited.

I have to wonder about those "sponsorship opportunities." There used to be an active quidditch club at Northern Illinois University, and your tax dollars paid for the construction of an intramural sports complex, including a quidditch pitch, that has mostly lain fallow the past few years. But no doubt some diversity deanlet will place a priority on renaming the pitch on the relevant signage.

Behold, the game is now "quadball."

Even the name sounds pathetic. For the love of all creatures great and small, is there anything that the woke generation can touch that won’t go up in ashes or immediately turn a depressing shade of grey? Who in the hell wants to play quadball? It sounds like one of those games elementary school gym teachers make up to keep the little monsters busy so they can sneak out for a smoke. Hey, kids! Who’s up for quadball? Anyone? Anyone? Okay, talk amongst yourselves.

Fine, I want team jerseys with a two-peckered faun as the mascot!  I'm not sure whether that's too transgressive or too classical a reference for the crowd that plays the game, as self-selected for Humorless Scold status as they might be.

Quidditch, now quadball, has “developed a reputation as one of the most progressive sports in the world on gender equality and inclusivity,” U.S. Quidditch and Major League Quidditch said in December, “in part thanks to its gender maximum rule, which stipulates that a team may not have more than four players of the same gender on the field at a time.”

Just wait, the Grand Handicapper will no doubt add a rule stipulating at least one person on a mobility scooter to a side!  Who knew there were so many "alleged adults who seem to be simultaneously suffering from arrested maturation and broomstick envy?"

It's all too much for Mitch "Shot in the Dark" Berg.  "So, the 'sport' wants to distance itself… …from the woman who created it, in her own mind, from whole cloth, as part of a bunch of fantasy novels about a teenage wizard?"