WELCOME TO HARD AMERICA. Yep, life'll burst that self-esteem bubble. The headline makes claims that don't quite stand up.

Kids born in the '70s and '80s are now coming of age. The colorful ribbons and shiny trophies they earned just for participating made them feel special. But now, in college and the workplace, observers are watching them crumble a bit at the first blush of criticism.

"I often get students in graduate school doing doctorates who made straight A's all their lives, and the first time they get tough feedback, the kind you need to develop skills," says Deborah Stipek, dean of education at Stanford University. "I have a box of Kleenex in my office because they haven't dealt with it before."

To be clear, self-esteem is important to healthy development... But empty praise — the kind showered on many kids years ago in the name of self-esteem — did more harm than good.

"Instead of boosting self-esteem, it can lead you to question your competence," says developmental psychologist Sandra Graham of UCLA.

The phenomenon these observers are commenting on is at least as old as the competition to get into good colleges, and I conjecture that the self-esteem effects are second-order at best. Consider the usual college-admission tournament: the best students from several high schools wind up at the same college. Sorting goes on, aided and abetted by MTV Spring Break and the fraternity scene. Some students who cruised through high school now have to work for the first time; some might still be able to cruise.

To the extent that college now serves as a graduate or professional school admission tournament, the drama repeats itself. Now the survivors of the best high schools that have also excelled at the best colleges all wind up in the same graduate program. Sort and repeat as before. Sometimes a 21 year old factory rat from the south side of Milwaukee gets through.

The article notes there is still room for attitude adjustments.

Overall, research shows that self-esteem scores have increased with the generations, says Jean Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University who compared studies on self-esteem of 66,000 college kids across the USA from 1968 through 1994. Such studies are typically based on self-ratings.

She also has noticed that the undergraduates she teaches tend to have an inflated sense of self.

"When you correct writing, they'll say, 'It's just your opinion,' which is infuriating. Bad grammar and spelling and sentences being wrong is not my opinion, it's just bad writing," she says.

So when the criticism flows, some college students are increasingly seeking counseling.

Sam Goldstein, a neuropsychologist at the University of Utah, likened some students to bubbles — on the surface they seem secure and happy, yet with the least adversity they burst.

OK, fire the purveyors of crying towels and repeat these instructions silently while I read them aloud:

Suck. It. Up. Do. It. Right. Stop. Whining.

RUNNING EXTRA: The Phantom Professor faces the hotshots who have to come to terms with the meaning of "level playing field."

I'm a tough grader. I've written "This stinks" on student assignments. I tell students when I think they're B.S.'ing me or when I think they've gotten lazy. I push and prod to get them to work harder. I give them D's and F's when they deserve it. And when I do, I always tell them "It's not personal. It's about the work."

And boy, do they NOT take it well. I've had young men and young women in my office sobbing over a grade or over a comment on a paper. They say, "I always got A's in high school!" And they run through every excuse, from ADD to eating disorders to writer's block (which I don't believe in, even for real writers).

I've had to learn how to criticize creatively so that I don't have to face the nervous breakdowns. And I blame parents for this. Trying so hard to be their children's pal, they forgot how to toughen them up for real-world criticism. Too many pats on the back for stupid stuff: "Way to stand at the plate, Travis!" "Good job finishing that sandwich, Ashley!" The kids don't know what it feels like to actually accomplish something worthy of praise.

Of course they always got A's in high school. So did everybody else in the writing class. Let the sorting begin. But "This stinks??" That's a bit over the top.