I REALLY DO HAVE WATERFRONT PROPERTY!

The decorative pond behind Cold Spring Shops headquarters is posted "No swimming, boating, or skating."  Apparently, though, that didn't deter a kayaker (!) from distancing himself from everybody else.

It would not be wise to tip over in there, as it's often a resting site for large flocks of geese, and all the byproducts originating therefrom.