THERE'S ALREADY A TOMATO WEDGE ON A CHICAGO HOT DOG.

I wonder if Heinz isn't installing promotional ketchup dispensers as a way of getting their yellow glop into the hot dog and beef joints in preference to French's.  "Heinz is entering hostile territory to offer ketchup packets around Chicago, a city that can be disdainful of the tomato condiment, at least where hot dogs are concerned."

Test-marketing is sometimes inspired, isn't it?

Heinz says most diners prefer to have the option of using ketchup when they eat out. To that end, the food manufacturer will temporarily be installing what it calls “smackable” billboards around the city to offer “ketchup relief.”

They work this way: Passersby can “smack” the ketchup bottle mockup protruding from the boards, and they will dispense ketchup packets.

Heinz says it’s targeting restaurant locations where ketchup is not served. It is placing a billboard, for example, outside Chicago’s Wiener’s Circle restaurant in Lincoln Park. Everyone, of course, knows that a traditional Chicago-style hot dog -- ideally "dragged through the garden" of various toppings -- contains no ketchup.

Outkick contributor Matt Reigle sees 57 varieties of crazy in the promotion.

So the idea, is that you get your food, wander outside, slap the billboard, and help yourself to some ketchup.

I don't know who is going to do this. I wouldn't trust street ketchup or any street condiments for that matter.

I'm a big mustard guy, but if I really wanted mustard on my hot dog and I was at some horrible establishment that didn't offer mustard due to some city-wide disdain for it and they said, "Well, if you really want mustard there's a billboard outside," I would eat my glizzy sans mustard.

But if you want to risk getting ketchup out of a billboard some junkie or homeless person peed on, you do you…

Speaking of which, I don't like ketchup on my dogs, but I'm not a douche about it. Still, if you get an honest-to-goodness Chicago hot dog — which has like a million things on it already — there's no need to add ketchup to the mix.

It already has tomatoes on it. You'll survive without a splash of Heinz.

The promotion is for a short time only, and it's been during an early April spell of late-wintry conditions.