YOU DON'T HAVE TO BUY THEIR CHEESE, EITHER. Betsy's Page links to Jonah Goldberg's discoveries of Vermont hospitality. (Sounds a lot like dealing with the French, only with those VT-in-an-oval stickers rather than the official FR-in-an-oval, and with the same pretensions about their cheese.) The Chicago Tribune (you may have to register) has discovered (do we hear an echo? "artisanal cheeses" (defined as something other than the industrial style American, Brick, Cheddar, Colby, Muenster, and Swiss) produced in Wisconsin. (And if you pay Armando Ferrari's works in Byron, watch the Soo Line, er Canadian National, slug it out with Byron Hill.)

Colby, which is an orange cheese milder than Cheddar with a bit more character than American, also has a Kiwi version. If you ever find yourself at Berkel's Gourmet Burgers in Queenstown, New Zealand, ask about their Colby cheese (the latest menu features Cheddar.)