HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE.

That's the quintessence of existential philosophy, if one excuses the oxymoron, as summarized by Jean-Paul Sartre.  There might be something to it all the same.

Now comes America's Newspaper of Record, perhaps with special knowledge of the ways of the Almighty, calling the roll of the damned.  "In Lieu Of Hell, Unbelieving Introverts Will Be Sent To A Business Networking Event That Lasts Forever."

BOREDOM IS SOPHISTICATION.

That's true of soporific public radio.

That's true of a concert of tenure music.

That's true of serious film (pronounced fillllllm).

That's true of juried art exhibitions.

Why should footie be any different?

It's “the beautiful game,” and for most of my adult life I’ve been patiently informed, usually by someone who calls it fútbol, that I simply lack the sophistication to appreciate it. But they’re wrong. Soccer isn’t beautiful. It’s boring, and it has nothing to do with sophistication.

The author documents a number of things, including outcomes often indistinguishable from a coin flip.

After a dozen footie-relevant posts in the past two months, it's time to put the dodecahedron back in the locker for a while.  That is, once stoppage time is done.

Sorry, I couldn't resist that parting shot!

Find yourself a circus and go to it.

THE PERILS OF PRESENTISM.

There is no topic so humble that an academic can't befoul it.  Consider "The Rise and Fall of the Public Sandbox."  It's a review of a book, which suggests a lot of Theorrhea is in hiding.

RADIO TEHERAN ATTENDS THE SEMIQUINCENTENNIAL.

"A Military Flyover Country Turns 250."  It's what we'd expect.

Every dollar spent on one of these performative fighter jet overpasses is a dollar stolen from our communities. The budget is a clear reflection of what the country values, and right now, our budget says we value genocide, destruction, and the theater of war over the substance of peace and the actual betterment of our communities, our country.

The America and Freedom 250 celebrations ask us to reflect on what our nation stands for, a nation started by genocide, carried out by slavery, fueled by exploitation, and exposing how militarism, racism, and fascism are on full display. Why do we spend trillions to destroy and destabilize the world, while spending pennies on investments to make our own communities actually safe?

The author (one of two, the proofreading is as bad as the logic) writes "as an Iranian immigrant."  If the cities of the "military flyover country" aren't actually safe, couldn't that author, oh, enjoy the safety and clean water in Teheran?  So much self-inflicted joylessness.

SELF-INFLICTED JOYLESSNESS.

"The easiest way to be miserable" and "absolutely unnecessary," notes Derek Hunter.

THE LAZY APPROACH TO WRITING HEADLINES.

The long-departed "Best of the Web" feature at The Wall Street Journal repeatedly asked, "What would we ever do without experts?"  It was the easiest thing to do because it was not hard to find headlines offering cheap arguments from authority, such as "Congress might make daylight saving time permanent. Experts say another approach could be even better."

Dear reader, meet the expert.

No, seriously.  Let's add lazy editing to lazy headline writing.  Scroll all the way down to find Stanford behavioral scientist Jamie Zeitzer confirming what any annoyed pupper could tell you.  "When you get light in the morning, it speeds up the circadian cycle. When you get light in the evening, it slows things down. You generally need more morning light and less evening light to keep well synchronized to a 24-hour day."  The build-up goes on for paragraphs, if you're interested.

PARTICULARISTIC INTERSECTIONALITY.

It's impossible to make stuff like this up.  "June and July are about queer joy and resilience. It’s crucial we use the month and its festivities to fight for liberation."  Wait, what, wasn't it only in the past few years that June went from being dairy month to being fairy month?  But one month is not enough.

June’s Pride Month and July’s Black Pride Month serve as more than a celebration. They are a necessary corrective to the nation’s revisionist history, selective memory, and deliberate attempts to erase the struggles, achievements, and contributions of LGBTQ+ people.

Pride is about more than a single day or month of celebration. Without a commitment to justice, restoration, and lasting social change, our celebrations risk becoming merely performative. While Pride is undeniably a celebration of our lives, resilience, and achievements, it has always also been a public declaration demanding equality and justice. For many, like myself, celebrating Pride and making a political statement are inseparable, because the freedoms we celebrate were won through activism and continue to require vigilance and advocacy.

But views on Pride are deeply divided—and not simply along the lines of race, class, gender, or sexual identity. Some LGBTQ+ Americans feel that activism, such as protests against police brutality and in support of Palestine, has made Pride too overtly “political,” and would prefer it serve primarily as a celebration where queer people can simply gather and enjoy themselves. Others, like religious conservatives and rightwing Republicans, see Pride as sinful and indecent behavior on public display. They dismiss Pride as a month-long bacchanalia of drugs, alcohol, and sexual excess, believing it desecrates the legacy of the Stonewall Rebellion and diminishes the political significance of the LGBTQ+ rights movement.

I wonder if author Irene Monroe got a Minimal Publishable Unit out of that, or if The Progressive isn't peer reviewed enough to claim academic credit.

DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?

Fittingly, a troupe that debuted as Chicago Transit Authority (the eponymous agency brought legal action to get that name changed) asked that question.  For years, the South Shore Line, properly the Chicago South Shore and South Bend, issued all-year-around printed timetables, advising that all published times shown were those in effect in Chicago.  When both Indiana and Illinois were on Standard Time, the South Bend passenger had to mentally add an hour; for that part of the year when Illinois and the Indiana Region observed Central Daylight Time, the South Bend passenger might not have had to make any changes, as Indiana was far enough west in the Eastern Time Zone for those counties on Eastern Standard Time to stay on Eastern Standard Time.  Those changes might not have inconvenienced too many passengers on the east end of the railroad, as, well into the 1960s, the railroad offered a memory pattern schedule with hourly South Bend Limiteds, with Gary Expresses on the half hour.  Conditional and positive stops for the morning Limiteds sufficed to serve any passengers from LaLumiere or Hudson Lake or New Carlisle for Bendix or downtown South Bend.  These days, the conditional stops are gone, although with all trains pulling out of Michigan City to form South Bend departures, there are morning departures for any local passengers so inclined.

Conditions were more complicated on the North Shore Line, the much-lamented and more than a little bit missed Chicago North Shore and Milwaukee.  Yes, the railroad operated entirely in the Central Time Zone.  After the War, though, Illinois observed Daylight Saving Time whilst Wisconsin did not.  So much for agricultural interests favoring Daylight Saving Time.  The cock crows at sunup, irrespective of what's on the clock, and farm kids know about morning chores before they head off to school.  Thus, when Wisconsin did adopt Daylight Saving Time, that ended on the final Sunday in September, whilst Illinois stayed with it until the final Sunday in October.

THERE'S NO CORRUPTION LIKE OLD CORRUPTION.

Volokh conspirator Ilya Somin sees the bright side of previous rents generated and dissipated.

I have long been critical of the Olympics and the World Cup for a variety of abuses, such as massive stadium subsidies that victimize taxpayers, forcible displacement of people in order to build stadiums, and providing a propaganda showcase for repressive authoritarian regimes, such as Russia and Qatar (hosts of the last two World Cups). Fortunately, this year's World Cup - co-hosted by Canada, the US, and Mexico - has mostly avoided these problems, at least when it comes to the United States. Though not quite entirely, as we shall see.  The key factors are that the US host cities used existing stadiums, and that strong protections for freedom of speech largely foreclosed the censorship and repression common in authoritarian host states.

Those existing stadiums, which do not include either Chicago's Soldier Field, or the new stadium yet to be built either in Arlington Heights or Hammond or Kenosha, are a return on previous manifestations of corporate welfare that traffic under the rubric of stadium subsidies.

[H]ost cities have used existing stadiums, obviating the need to build new ones. This eliminates by far the biggest cause of the World Cup's exploitation of taxpayers. There have still been some public expenditures on things like traffic management and security. But protecting people against crime and terrorism, and managing public infrastructure are basic functions of government that the state provides for events of all kinds. There is no good reason to exclude major sporting events. Anarchists (including libertarian ones) can consistently condemn such spending. But that goes to philosophical issues that go far beyond sports events.

How fortunate that you can fit a footie pitch inside the dimensions of a professional football field, and that led to a missed opportunity when Argentina eliminated Switzerland, as the player who scored a breakaway goal late could have done a Lambeau Leap, had he known of such things.

UNFINISHED BUSINESS.

The local preservation railways attempt to use car-cards no newer than those in use when the owning railroad abandoned service or retired the cars, trackless trolleys, or buses.

That ticket only won in a notorious headline prematurely published by the then-very-anticommunist Chicago Tribune; Joseph McCarthy did win a Senate seat in Wisconsin, something that did not require advertising buys on Illinois Terminal cars running out of St. Louis, and a subsequent Republican president appointed Earl Warren to the Supreme Court, touching off a number of unintended consequences.

LET THE KIDS PLAY.

Self-described women's basketball reporter Cassandra Negley asks, "Caitlin Clark has become a pawn in everyone's game, but what about her own?"

Sitting around a real-life bonfire in my backyard, a safe distance from the online firestorm still raging around Caitlin Clark, Alyssa Thomas and the WNBA, a friend waded into the conversation everyone wanted to have this past July 4th weekend.

"Ya know," he said, "it seems to me like Caitlin Clark just wants to hoop."

Talk about some cold water splashed onto a red-hot saga that won't end.

It became clear many controversies ago that Clark just wants to play basketball, talk basketball and live basketball. It's true she is quick to jump into (or jump-start) the fray on the court. Yet, off the court, she steps away from making anything messier than it already is simply because her name is attached.

She is as aware as most of us that the nonsense erupting around her is not about her. But, damn, it must be exhausting. Which is largely what Clark said, with much more eloquence, late last week in one of the more raw and vulnerable moments we've seen from her of late.

"It can be really frustrating to me at times," the 24-year-old said. "I think it's difficult. I think a lot of people sometimes think I'm a robot. I'm not a robot. I have emotions, I have feelings, and it can be really difficult to go through a lot of that."

In the three-time All-Star's first appearance back at team practices on Friday, she opened her media availability with nearly five minutes of unscripted remarks on the flagrant 2 foul called on Alyssa Thomas (of which she agreed without question), officiating (including specific ways the league can improve), the discourse around the incident ("none of that is OK"), how it took all the oxygen ("that's just a real disservice to our league") and the difficulties navigating all of that as Caitlin Clark.

Perhaps it is as simple as the league getting the quality of officiating it's paying for, which isn't very good, which players can approach only gingerly in peril of sanction from the main office.

WHY NOT END THE GAME WHEN THE STREETLIGHTS COME ON?

That might be a problem in the developing world, where aspiring players might make do with a vacant lot, but streetlights might be nonexistent or unreliable.

Determining the end of a footie game?  It's the complete opposite of football, where Vince Lombardi could say "you don't lose, but sometimes the clock runs out on you" with near certainty on when that clock was going to run out, as the two minute warning began as a pause to synchronize the unofficial scoreboard clock with the official timekeeper's stopwatch.  These days the scoreboard clock is almost always right, and the two minute warning a water break for the players, a bathroom break for the fans, and an opportunity to sell colored water in blue cans to guys who will thus have to take another bathroom break.

Once the clock gets to ninety minutes, a functionary notes there will be a few more minutes of "stoppage time," determined by a formula that might be more arcane than sailing's handicap rating formulas.  Even then, there's no well-defined end to it.

OH, THE HUMANITIES!

Joanne Jacobs notes, "You can major in Taylor Swift and minor in K-pop -- but shouldn't."  That's in endorsing a recent lament for the kind of work students get away with to earn degrees.

In its early years, the University of Wisconsin-Madison offered courses covering Virgil, Cicero, Livy, logic, calculus, ethics, chemistry, constitutional law and other touchstones of a classical education.

In the year of our Lord 2026, students can stroll past Lincoln’s statue looming atop Bascom Hill on that very same campus to study video games through feminist, queer and ecocritical lenses.

Culture warriors are busy bludgeoning universities for their ideological monocultures: founding civics institutes, prohibiting diversity, equity and inclusion statements in hiring and cutting federal funding to questionable research — but mediocrity is arguably as large a problem as ideological capture.

Maybe the humanities disciplines should have stuck to close reading and creative writing.  It's not as if nobody's noticing.  "Dear reader, it's straightforward enough: think of 'the humanities' as 'those disciplines that deconstruct reality as a hobby' and you won't go far wrong.  That reality has a say in what gets deconstructed never ceases to catch the academy by surprise."

STUDENT ATHLETIC FEES, WELL SPENT?

Buy a sports ticket online, get a press release.  "Mountain West Conference Unveils New Brand Identity, Introducting 'Built Bold' Era."

The Mountain West Conference today announced the launch of a refreshed brand identity, including a modernized wordmark, an updated color palette, and a new defining tagline: Built Bold.

The rebrand marks a pivotal step forward as the Conference enters a new era—one defined by growth, innovation, and transformation.

"This new identity reflects exactly who we are as a Conference and where we're going," said Mountain West Commissioner Gloria Nevarez. "We are bold in our ambition, bold in our commitment to our student-athletes on the field and in the classroom, and bold in how we choose to lead. 'Built Bold' represents our willingness to take decisive steps forward—together—as we continue to shape a national Conference that delivers real opportunity and real impact for our institutions and communities."

The updated visual identity features a refined Mountain West wordmark and refreshed brand elements designed to better represent the Conference's evolving footprint and national reach.

The new look is part of a broader effort to modernize the Mountain West's visual presence while creating a cohesive, flexible system that can be activated across all platforms—from broadcasts and digital media to campus and community engagement.

Anchoring the new brand is the tagline: Built Bold—a rallying cry that reflects the Mountain West's identity and aspirations.

Rooted in the Conference's positioning, Built Bold reflects the Mountain West's energy, excellence, perseverance, and innovation while reinforcing its commitment to leading confidently and shaping the future of collegiate athletics. The Conference's vision remains focused on providing transformative experiences for our student-athletes.

I wonder how many deanlets and consultants got to wet their beaks coming up with the artwork, the tagline, and the corporate-speak.  Whether moving college football from school nights to Friday nights will put any more fans in the stands or make name, image, and likeness contracts more attractive to recruits is yet to be determined.

BOTTOM STORY OF THE DAY.

Literally.  Here we were, thirteen years ago.

The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is a glossy provocation to the Perpetually Aggrieved.

What's the over-under that at least one participant in the semiotics workshop wishes she could be a swimsuit model?

In recent years, it might have gotten easier for semioticians to make the cut.

Not too long ago, Sports Illustrated decided that putting Rubens models on the cover of the swimsuit edition was a good idea.  (It wasn't.)

Now comes a new pharmacopeia, and (looking past all manner of potentially nasty side effects, there's nothing that kills the appetite quite like a drug ad coming on during snack time) some might take the pounds off effortlessly, compared with diet, exercise and resting.  That might reduce the value of Rubens models.  "As a plus-size swimsuit model, I'm not worried about GLP-1 drugs. I'm uneasy about what we celebrate when women get smaller."

HOW NOW JOE GOW?

Not yet gone.  "Mr Gow was the chancellor (Wisconsin-speak for campus president) of Oktoberfest destination college Wisconsin-LaCrosse until his unusual side hustle came to light."

Nor forgotten.  "Joe Gow Hangs in Legal Limbo."  And you thought negotiating with Iranians was exhausting?  "While he accepted his firing from the chancellor role, which he was set to retire from in 2024, Gow has argued he should not be fired as a tenured professor for making adult videos on his own time—a position that has been endorsed by First Amendment advocates, including the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression."

ANOTHER WEEK, ANOTHER MILLION PAGE VIEWS.

Sometime during Fathers Day weekend our page view counter rolled through eleven million, a week since it rolled through ten million, a month since it rolled past nine million, and two months since it hit eight million.  Two million plus views counted in June alone.  I hope the algorithms are scraping nuggets of wisdom.  Individual posts still generally register forty to sixty views, and I trust live readers are making good use of them.  Thanks to viewers, human and algorithmic, for your continued interest.

LIBERAL WEENIES COME FOR FOOTIE.

Seriously, Adam Kadlac?  "Should you feel guilty about rooting against the US in the World Cup?"

Every four years polite Americans pretend to be interested in men's footie.  Cold Spring Shops, not so much, with only 42 posts getting a "footie" label in going on two dozen years, and most of those professing benign neglect with a little snarking, e.g. "Ordinarily, that would be reason enough for Cold Spring Shops to continue its policy of benign neglect of the game popular with adolescent males in the third world and eight year old girls here."

The liberal weenies, though, make themselves figures of fun, starting with calls for a boycott of the Stateside games that prompted my "I have no plans to attend or to watch any World Cup games. Where can I sell carbon offsets?"

STOP CLUTTERING OUR UNIFORMS.

"Minor league baseball team cancels Pride Night game after players refuse to wear rainbows."  We're not talking about the players objecting to some sponsor's logo.  "Fewer than nine players on the 28-man roster were willing to uniforms that featured a rainbow design on their sleeves, a team official said."

GROYPER DREAMS.

From time to time, Common Dreams run essays lamenting too much money in politics, particularly money raised by the American Israel Public Affairs Committee.  Then there's Jamal Kanj.

There are many lessons to be learned from the lates made-for-Israel war on Iran. The first and most damning is that the war resolved the very crisis it created. Donald Trump celebrated the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz and the lifting of the blockade against Iran. Two conditions that were fully in place before Benjamin Netanyahu dog walked Trump into this war. The agreement that concluded the war took us back to exactly where we stood before America spent $200 billion, and where Americans continue to pay Israeli surcharge tax at the pump and grocery stores.

Those two conditions ostensibly being the terms of Barack Obama's time-limited agreement involving nuclear weapons, and more evidently being the free passage of ships in and out of the Arabian Gulf.  I'm still reviewing commentary on the memorandum of understanding, which, first, is not a treaty; and second, I suspect is merely another Sitzkrieg before the bombers fly again, and will note only that until last week, free passage of ships was only going to happen if the thirteen other items on Iran's wish list were fulfilled.  I still view most of the items on that memorandum as wishful thinking.