GLAD TO HAVE IT BEHIND ME.

Nailed to Newmark's Door, a darkly humorous look at semi-literate student electronic mails.

Suggested responses:

"Treat electronic mail as professional correspondence, with proper attention to capitalisation, spelling, and punctuation."

"'Hey' is an improper form of address for a request."

"Get the information you seek from a classmate."

"No.  Grow up."

"Lack of planning on your part is not an emergency on my part."

Yes, you might get some push-back from the little darlings, but your job is to say No and uphold standards.

That is all.