CARRY-OUT PIZZA UPSTAGES CURATED CATERED MEAL.

Dear reader, if you remember this, what comes after the quotation will be self-evident.  "Hell is either being trapped in a monologue given by a vegan, or by an egalitarian outraged that some people spend five thousand bucks on an ugly coat."

Today in Life Among the Privileged it goes like this.  "A humiliated bride was 'completely upstaged' at her own wedding after hungry guests snubbed the upscale vegan dinner menu — and ordered pizza for delivery instead."

No, I didn't stumble on an April Fool post.

Taking to Reddit, the emotionally distraught bride — whose missive was deployed while crying in the bathroom as the events unfurled — wrote that she and her husband spent “nearly $15,000” to make the menu. It came after months of collaboration with a chef “to create a gourmet 5-course meal that just happened to be vegan.”

Its offerings included mushroom wellington, truffle risotto and roasted vegetable tarts, the 28-year-old added.

“We deliberately didn’t mention the food was vegan on the invitations because we wanted people to enjoy it without prejudice,” she wrote. “Every dish was designed to be delicious and satisfying, regardless of dietary preference.”

Does the probability of a marriage failing varying with the extravagance of the wedding further increase with the extravagance of curated catered rabbit food properly presented on the plate?

However, not everyone was keen to go green, including the bride’s 32-year-old brother, Tom.

“Twenty minutes later, I watched in horror as he and my cousins walked in carrying 20 large pizzas. They started distributing them to guests, announcing ‘Real food for anyone who wants it!'”

“I was mortified. The caterers looked so embarrassed, and several guests hadn’t even tried our carefully planned menu yet.”

The furious bride then confronted Tom, who shared texts his aunt had sent him, complaining that “all the food is just vegetables.”

Naturally, Tom and the family “couldn’t let people go hungry at a wedding.”

Egad.  Thanksgiving gatherings with that extended family sound like a lot of fun.

“This caused a scene, and now half the family is calling us stuck-up and saying we ruined our own wedding by ‘pushing our beliefs’ on everyone,” the bride wrote. “They’re saying we should have warned people about the vegan menu.”

I'm sure there are people who can parse the notion of "pushing our beliefs" either to interpret the use of the phrase as a manifestation of hegemonic biases or to suggest that there is no social interaction that does not imply a set of beliefs being pushed.

Should that marriage last, though, and should the family members put aside their immediate grievances, imagine the stories that can be shared with the spawn of that union, or, years from now, at wakes, or maybe even at holiday gatherings.