JUST SUCK IT UP. It's final exam season, and term papers are due, and dogs are developing a taste for Corrasable (tm) paper. Oh, that's so last century. Rather, it's time for all the hard drives to fail. Better yet, it's time for a website to provide
plausible excuses.
A national student survey recently found that nearly two-thirds of students spent 15 hours or fewer per week doing coursework, and about 20 percent of both freshmen and seniors claimed to spend fewer than five hours per week.
There might be more to the high defect rate in higher education than a coreless curriculum. But the professoriate has to develop some spine.
For the truly lazy, a feature on the Web site student.com generates automatic excuse-requesting e-mails. Users pick the phrases they want, asking for "a bit of slack" or a "slight favor" because they "have SO much work to do" and could never finish the assignment "in the complete way you deserve."
"As an isolated phenomenon it might not be so serious, but it has to be seen in the overall context of diminishing expectations," said Bradford Wilson, executive director of the National Association of Scholars, a group that is working to combat what it believes is a decline in college standards.
What was I posting last week about quiche-eating surrender monkeys? Fortunately, a few continue to man the ramparts.
After 22 years of mounting frustration over extension requests, Wellesley political science Professor William Joseph introduced a new approach to his classes two years ago. His students have seven extension days, to allocate as they choose, each semester. But then he starts knocking down grades, barring an extraordinary excuse like a death in the family.
Joseph also tells students to save and print drafts. If a final version is lost in a computer crash, he expects an earlier version.
The change has cut back on the excuses he hears.
People respond to incentives. I made available the scoring rubrics for the regulated industries term paper, as current expertise suggests. I also announced a tariff for late papers. The paper was due on the last class day, a Thursday. Thirty points maximum. Five points off for turning it in on Friday. Ten points off for turning it in before the exam. Fifteen points off for turning it in after the exam. All but one paper accounted for by Friday.
One of these days, students will figure out proper study strategies.
"You get to the end of the semester, it's 85 degrees out, all your friends are on the lawn playing Frisbee," said Corey Frampton, an undergraduate at Binghamton University in New York, who admits to occasional extension requests. "It takes a certain amount of will to write a paper, which most people don't possess."
Quite so. But I was able to get a lot of good sailing in during exam week of the spring semester. Why? There is something called preparing during the term. The notion of cramming never occurred to me. Got the degree, got the dissertation, got the tenure, not going to brag to the Chronicle of Higher Education about any of it. Got it?
Joanne Jacobs, who turned up the story, also responds to incentives.
Only once in my college days did I turn a paper in late. I'd had a bad cold. The teacher lowered my A to a B. I coughed piteously. It didn't work. I never missed a deadline again.
Heh.
SECOND SECTION: Some professors don't mess around.
Fail to turn in a paper, fail the course. Ouch.
One letter grade off for each day late. Imagine incentive payments for Amtrak along these lines.
No credit for late work without prearrangement (also
here.)
Some people would be more credible with more careful proofreading. "
If you come in after role is taken or if you leave early, you are counted absent." Students in this class have an out, however.
If you have family or personal issues that keep you from class, or some type of issue that you cannot get documentation on, then you may see Elizabeth Steele in the Advising, Retention and Assessment Office. At her discretion, she will provide an excuse. Ms. Steele and the Advising, Retention and Assessment Office are located in 235 Smiddy, phone 328-0313.
Does she have a shelf of teddy bears?
For reader information,
here is a collection of excuses, although many look like material for a compendium of tasteless jokes.