THE BETTER PLAYER WILL WIN WITH EITHER COLOR. But it will take longer with [just don't say Black.] Number 2 Pencil is unimpressed with the latest attempt by some people to get outraged over absolutely nothing, this time with the convention that the first player to move in a chess game has the White pieces, and the Black pieces follow.

Am I crazy, or is this very similar to Chris Rock's "Nat X" skit on Saturday Night Live, in which he plays a black militant who goes to any length to see racism in every aspect of life, and rails against pool as a racist game because the object is for the white ball to knock all the colored balls off the table?

Perhaps, although the gag is much older. Rowan and Martin'sLaugh-in had a skit with a white guy and a black guy playing chess. The black guy said "Who moves first?" and responded "Figures" when the white guy told him.

Sock it to me?