DON'T LET THEM GET ANY IDEAS.

It's the Babylon Bee, so let's hope it's satire.  "State governments across America have responded with decisive action after startling reports surfaced that heart disease kills hundreds of thousands every year. In order to save lives, states have ordered all fast-food restaurants to close until we can flatten the curve of heart disease."  Problem is, self-styled progressives are so in love with their moral equivalents of war that a diet emergency lockdown or a climate emergency lockdown or something that hasn't occurred to me because thinking like a self-styled progressive isn't something I do very well might well be our future reality.