IF YOU'RE GOING TO BELIEVE, BELIEVE. Rev. Christopher Johnson has sharp words for those who would make the Creation and the Resurrection more inclusive.

Leaving aside the staggeringly arrogant conceit that someone named Susan Anderson-Smith knows "who Jesus understood himself to be," I've got two problems with this idea. One is that, well, God kind of, well, you know, does have a "hierarchical power over things." If You're a being that can create entire universes, I've got no problem at all with calling You "Lord." I don't know about you but I certainly can't create entire universes.

Same thing with Jesus. If You die an agonizing death on the Cross to keep me out of hell, then when I see You, "Lord" is going to be the first word out of my mouth. But if Jesus was just a great teacher and God little more than a divine district manager you play golf with sometimes, I can see where the word might grate on your ears.

Rev. Johnson often refers to the "National Council of Churches Nobody Goes To Anymore." There's logic to his criticism: what's the point of having a separate organization that acknowledges only that the congregants are flukes of the universe? One can wrestle with that conclusion alone, or perhaps with others at a saloon or a coffeehouse, with little use for sermons or liturgical dances.