QUESTION THAT FAILED MODEL. I use a four-word formulation to summarize what higher education is doing wrong. Access refers to lowered admission standards. Assessment does everything but perform market tests and enable professors to make mid-course adjustments to fine-tune student performance. Remediation is the consequence of access. Retention ensures that the unprepared receive something resembling a degree, all the same.

Although the formulation is mine, I may not be the most caustic observer in my corner of the academic blogosphere.

Far be it from UD to keep you from attending an exciting summit with the vice-president’s wife where the international news media films you wringing your hands over your obnoxious students. If that’s the picture of your college you want to broadcast to the world, go to it.

But there are other things you can do about the situation.

What she said.

That's the second act.

Why hold classes if you can’t hold classes?

UD’s heart goes out to this writer — this still-serious student. If it’s not too late, and if she can afford it, the student should drop out of UMaine and find a serious school.

Retention problem, Cold Spring Shops version: the ambitious students are the ones who are leaving.