CHEESEHEAD LESSONS. The Johnsonville bratwurst is the "fastest growing protein" among outdoor chefs, according to USA Today. The article includes a pronunciation guide (that's brAHT) and a few grilling tips (don't puncture them, but a bit of drippage out the end flavors the smoke.) The report does not get into some regional variations such as condiments (brown mustard, please, not that annoying yellow flatlander stuff; ketchup is for boors; sauerkraut in Milwaukee but not in Sheboygan) or portion size (one on a sausage roll or two on a round hard roll derived from the Semmel?) There are regional variations in German-speaking countries as well; some brief notes here.

And yes, there really is a Johnsonville. And I remember when the only outlet for Johnsonville bratwursts was a butcher shop on the main drag of ... Schnapsville?? (That I like as a chaser.) Two taverns, a church, a bridge over a small stream, the meat market.

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