JUST IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS.

The big-box toy displays are about to open.

Hey, obedient mandators and scoldy Karens out there, you’re going to want the newest “gotta have” toy. Introducing the Scoldy Tony! You’d better get your order in today! If your child wears a mask to bed and you’re all scared to step outside without a mask, this is the perfect “Xmas” gift for you and your child. Scoldy Tony suits any and all genders — even “two-bears.”

I laugh at the absurdity to keep from screaming.