QUIT CRYING WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL. There are a number of academicians' weblogs that exist primarily to whinge about their students. Yes, it's a guilty pleasure, I read them even if I tend not to link to them. But let's keep it in perspective. This morning I stumbled across an A and E network program called Airline, which has apparently been in production for several years. It is taped, with the assistance of Southwest Airlines, at Baltimore, Chicago Midway, Houston, and Los Angeles. Slate's Dana Stevens is underwhelmed.

Southwest comes off smelling like a rose. In confrontation after confrontation, belligerent, buck-passing customers (like the woman who misses her own plane, then hangs around all day whining at the airline's incompetence) hassle forbearing, good-humored agents. In fact, the customers are so clearly the villains of the show that if you come away with any lesson in mind, it's "Jeez, I should really be nicer to people at the airport."

Given that FAA regulations preclude the filming of any real security breaches or moments of actual danger, there are, let's face it, a limited number of things that can happen in airports. Only four episodes into the season, no fewer than three storylines have already been repeated in slightly varying formats: an inebriated passenger is denied boarding until he or she sobers up; parents are required to prove that their child is two or younger before bringing the youngster aboard for free; a crowd of passengers becomes furious that the airline can't book them all free rooms after an act-of-God snafu.

Airline regulations ground intoxicated passengers for not less than eight hours from having been denied boarding. Passengers wander off from the boarding area during the final boarding call. Grown-up Ashleys check a hold's worth of baggage to participate in beauty contests for middle aged wives. Air carriers apparently have more snow days than northern universities.